Guidance For Parents & Friends
When young people explore a religious vocation, parents often
have many questions and may hesitate to encourage their children
to consider this choice of life. We hope the following information
will be helpful.
What are priests, brothers, and sisters doing these
days?
Religious communities have always tried to respond
to urgent, unmet needs. For many years, that meant providing
education and health care for an immigrant population.
Often today’s Catholics do not see many sisters or brothers
on a regular basis. Some sisters, priests and brothers continue
to work in parish schools, but many others live and work in
neighborhoods that seem to be struggling with difficult and
pervasive social problems. They strive to stand with people
who are poor and on the margins of society.
Members of religious communities usually live together in small
groups, setting time aside to pray together, to share meals
and to talk about the day’s events. Community life provides
a tremendous support as one seeks to live a life of evangelical
chastity, poverty, and obedience.
Isn’t a celibate way of life very lonely?
Every human being has some lonely moments whether he
or she is married, single, a priest, a sister, or a brother.
However, when a person has a sense of being where God wants
him or her to be, doing meaningful work and enjoying good friendships,
that person is not lonely.
To choose to be celibate is much more than choosing not to
be married. Celibacy is a way of being in relationship with
God and with others. Just as marriage provides a way of life
for people to love their spouses and others, so also does celibacy
provide a way to love others non-exclusively. Celibacy means
choosing to live chastely as a single person, in public witness
for the service of the Gospel.
Would I lose my child if he or she entered a religious
community or went to a seminary?
No! Parents frequently report that they didn’t lose a
child, but rather gained a whole community. Communities make
every effort to encourage family and friends to visit and to
continue strong relationships with family and friends. Phone
calls, letters, e-mail and visits help to make that contact
easier. While each community would have its own rules and policies,
communities recognize how vital the support of family and friends
can be.
What if my son or daughter is not worthy of this calling?
Would it surprise you to hear that nobody is? Each vocation
is a gift from God. That is the wonderful thing about our faith.
We do not have to be worthy to respond to God’s gifts
in our lives. In the gospels, Jesus seems to seek out ordinary
people who are well aware of their weakness. We’re asked
to respond to God’s grace and to remember that God is
the one who is in charge.
Why do some religious sisters, brothers, and priests
wear habits?
Religious dress can be a sign to others of faith in
God and commitment in religious life. It can be a way to keep
the vow of poverty and for some it is a sign of penitence.
Some communities give their members the option of wearing ordinary
clothes, saying that the most valid sign of Christian faith
is lifestyle rather than garb. The original religious garb was
usually the contemporary dress that simply got institutionalized
over the centuries. Many religious sisters, priests, and brothers
choose to wear the dress of the day which is reflective of their
desire to live a modest, simple life.
What if my daughter or son enters a religious community
or seminary and it is a mistake?
Making a decision to enter a seminary or religious
community is not the same thing as making a commitment. Formation
directors help candidates discern whether or not this choice
is a good one. Should your child decide that this is not the
right choice, there is no shame in leaving. Hopefully they will
have developed a closer relationship with God, come to a deeper
level of self knowledge and experienced the joy of serving others.
Isn’t it wrong for me to force my child into
anything?
Yes, it is. However it is extremely important for parents to
encourage their children to consider all of the options available
to them, single life, priesthood, sisterhood, brotherhood as
well as marriage. Such encouragement is extremely important.
Parents have an important role in presenting opportunities to
explore options while respecting each child’s personality
and God’s individual call. This is both an awesome responsibility
as well as a delightful gift.
Many young people today seem to be looking for a sense of community,
a way to belong, a way to serve with others and an opportunity
to develop a life of close relationship with God. If this sounds
like your child, you might want to encourage them to consider
a choice of brotherhood, sisterhood, or priesthood.
(Permission granted by the National
Religious Vocation Conference to take excerpts from their brochure
“Ten Questions Parents Often Ask About Church Vocations.”
This pamphlet was written by the Parent’s Standing Committee.
To receive a complete copy, please contact the National Religious
Vocation Conference at 773-363-5454 or nrvc@aol.com.)
Other Parent Information
 Journey's
Feel free to download or view our latest Journey's Newsletter (Acrobat PDF)
If you need to get the free Adobe Acrobat reader then click
this link.
A catalog containing these and other resources can be ordered
from the National Coalition for Church Vocations (1-800-671-NCCV)
or at www.nccv-vocations.org
Ten Questions Parents Often Ask About Church Vocations
A Different Path (A real-life look at religious
life in contemplative and active communities.VHS, 60 minutes,
study guide , Ages 14+)
¡Gozando la Vida! (An innovative approach
to vocations for Hispanic Catholics, CD, bilingual study guide.)
Bulletin Notes for Parents
Vocation Coloring Books (12 pages, available
in English and Spanish)
Parents Speak Out: Children and Church Vocations
(Engaging interviews with parents of adult children in priesthood/religious
life. Looks at expectations, advice, support, etc., VHS, 12
min., study guide)
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